Sometimes I miss you so much.
I wish I had more time to hold you.
I wish I could have been there in your last moments,
Just like the first.
I’ve never been good at remembering the past.
I mean, why would I remember the things that didn’t last?
And I’ve tormented and been tormented,
Been played and have played,
Just for you to say words that cut me like a blade.
But for all that I have lost,
I somehow have also gained.
The lessons that I have learnt,
Were all learnt through pain.
I’m no different on the inside.
I’ve just been shedding my outer skin,
And the hypocrisy and contradictory
Love, that used to lie within.
I love that look on your face,
Because you can’t stand that I now have boundaries in place.
And so you can’t push me around,
As you used to so easily now.
How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine now?
I never said it out loud.
That if I could,
I would bear it all for you.
In this lifetime or the hereafter,
I would give up everything for you.
Because we’ve been tied by blood,
Or do they call it fate?
But there’s something sickening about you,
That I can’t help but hate.
The sickness that lives in me too,
Was that also written in fate?