Sometimes I’ll suddenly remember things
That I’ve left many, many years ago.
Like the sudden thought
That you never meant it,
When you sang that song for me
I wish I could see you
And feel your skin.
We take a step forward,
Then two steps back
When all I ever once wanted,
Was for you to come back.
And I don’t feel anything anymore,
About that or about this.
But why is it that even after all this time,
I still can’t go back to that coffee shop,
Where we once sat
Even after all this time?
We’re standing in the rain
Side by side,
Waiting for the train.
But why does the gap between you and I,
Feel even larger than the gap
Between the platform and the train?
Sometimes I miss you so much.
I wish I had more time to hold you.
I wish I could have been there in your last moments,
Just like the first.
And someday you will finally see,
That everything happened
Because it needed to.
And all those times you would break
Have never been futile,
For one day you will look back,
But this time, with a smile.
I’ve never been good at remembering the past.
I mean, why would I remember the things that didn’t last?
And I’ve tormented and been tormented,
Been played and have played,
Just for you to say words that cut me like a blade.
But for all that I have lost,
I somehow have also gained.
The lessons that I have learnt,
Were all learnt through pain.
Trying to find my way,
In this darkness
‘Cause I was too stupid and lost,
In processing my loss.
I miss the taste of your coffee,
Even when it is burnt or when it is sour.
And even now when I make it –
Exactly the same as you did –
Why doesn’t it taste the same?
I once thought it was kindness,
Not too choose –
Or not to speak.
But perhaps it was the cruellest thing,
I could have ever done.
Because not choosing,
Was a choice in itself.